The war against my curls

People with straight hair often approach me in public and say, "I love your curls."

It's challenging to accept the compliment since, naturally, I would love to have long, silky, straight hair.

I have a mixed relationship with my curls. It's true that you often desire what you lack.and boy is that the truth.

Over the course of my life, my hair texture has changed, and I have consistently been at war with my curls.

In my adolescence I thought my hair was just frizzy. My mother didn't understand my curls so I brushed it, and it would usually end up in a messy bun.

During high school, I came across the flat iron, and thinking back on the time I devoted to my hair makes me tired. I would not only wash it every day but also blow it out with a round brush and use a flat iron on it.

The extensive heat styling took a toll on my hair, yet the battle continued. It wasn't until my late 20s that I began to accept my curls and embraced my natural texture.

I enrolled in beauty school and started using professional products, ceasing my daily hair damage routine.

Fighting against my curls was no longer my top priority. During that period, I would often wear my natural curls for weeks on end.

As I developed as a stylist, my understanding of why my hair was so difficult to manage also improved, and I discovered effective solutions to control it.

In my 30s, I started wearing my curls half of the time and realized that to keep them in good condition, I needed a monthly deep conditioning treatment and a quality leave-in conditioner. I also discovered a curl cream I loved that left my curls soft rather than crunchy.

At 35, when I became pregnant with my daughter, my curls were magnificent. Not only was my hair long, but my curls formed perfect ringlets.

Throughout my pregnancy, I embraced my natural hair texture. However, after my daughter was born, my hair changed dramatically. I lost 25% of it, and my curls became uneven, with some barely forming a wave.

I wished I hadn't spent any time disliking my curls, and I longed to have them again.

My hair has experienced various stages, and each has taught me one thing.

Love what looks back at you in the mirror. Longing for something I don't have steals my joy.

If I accept myself the war ends, and I still win!

So, if you long for the hair you do not have you are definitely not alone but there is solution in surrender.

If you need tips on how to style you curls, please check out my YouTube page @spsalonsdsm

or come visit me at R. Mane Apothecary in the east village